The Lover After Me
by Miraishi
Summary: Duo mourns for the loss of Heero...songfic


Note: I do not own GW, or the song (_The lover after me_, Savage Garden…)…some big companies with lots of legal power and lots of money does…I am just a poor yaoi and music fan, don't sue me. The characters are easy to work with, and I enjoy _working_ with them, they're fun to manipulate…anyway. This is an angst-y Duo fic, partially 5x4, 1x3, 1x2 fic…lime…The chorus is what Duo's thinking…and has to do with what is happening between Heero/Trowa. POV is confusing…but between 1x3, Heero's thoughts are seen. Within other scenes, Duo's thoughts are seen…now, on to the fic!

**______________________________________________________________________________**

**Prologue**

"Duo, you have to promise me something…"

         "What Heero?"

         "If anything ever happens to me, you have to move on in your life…" he swallowed the lump in his throat, "and forget me."

         "I can't do that…"

         "You must."

         "But why?" he asked, holding back a river of tears beginning to well up in his eyes.

         "I don't want to be the only reason why you live…"

         "Sometimes I think that you are…"

         "No, you love life, happiness…"

         "Fine," he said in a hurt voice.

         "Thank you," Heero answered as he kissed him. "Now, let's have some fun…" he said as he pushed Duo onto the shared bed.

**Part One**

_Here I go again I promised myself I wouldn't think of you today_

         Duo lay on his bed, sighing. Looking up at the ceiling, he thought of Heero. "I wonder if he is all right…what happened…"

_It's been seven months and counting_

Flashback: Heero and Trowa accepted the mission. It was supposed to be a "get-the-info-and-get-the-fuck-out-of-there" mission. However, something went wrong. They never came home.

_You've moved on_

_I still feel exactly the same_

         Duo's thoughts were disrupted by a knock on the door. Not waiting for an answer, Quatre walked in. 

         "Hey Duo, you all right?"

         "Yeah…could be better…"

         "Everyone could."

         "How about you?"

         "Yeah, Wufei's helped me out a lot…"

         "I'm glad for the two of you…anyone try to find…"

         "Duo, we've looked…it has been seven months…if they were to be found…" Quatre cut himself off short, not wanting to witness the hurt in Duo's eyes any longer. "We'll keep trying…"

         "I…guess you are right…" Duo stated holding back his tears.

         "Wufei and I are going out. Do you want to come?"

         "No, I think I am going to sleep…"

         "Okay. Oyasumi Duo," Quatre said as he closed the door behind him.

         A few hours later, Quatre and Wufei returned home.

         Duo got out of bed and checked the clock, 3:30 AM. He put on his clothes and walked out of his room. Walking down the hall, he spied into Quatre's open door, seeing him sleeping peacefully in Wufei's arms. 

_It's just that everywhere I go _

_All the buildings know your name_

_Like photographs and memories of love._

         He walked down the street, kicking stones. A tear streaked his face as he walked by the ice cream stand, where he saw the ghost images of his memories.

Flashback: 

         "Come one Heero, buy me an ice cream, it's hot…" Duo whined as he dragged Heero down the street.

         "I'm coming, now stop dragging me, you baka!"

         Duo and Heero finally made it to their destination.

         "I would like a fudge pop please," Duo asked the young boy in white behind the stand. After receiving his chocolate treat, he then dragged Heero to a shady spot by a secluded spot in the nearby park. He plopped himself against it and started to lick his ice cream.

         "Heero, can you get me something to wipe my hands off?"

Heero muttered no and proceeded to lick the chocolate off of Duo's hands. He then kissed off the chocolate from around his mouth.

         "Can't you wait until we get home?" Duo asked.

         "Hurry up and let's go…"

_Steel and granite reminders_

_The city calls your name and I can't move on_

         Duo finally walked in that morning to find Wufei sitting at the kitchen table.

         "Mornin' Wu-chan."

         "I hate it when you call me that…"

         "I know, but it makes me feel better making someone as miserable as I am…"

         "Sit down…we should talk…"

         "What Wufei…I want to got to sleep…" he answered in an annoyed tone.

         "Shut up. I don't care…I do…you know what I mean…Anyway. I have witnessed you leave the past few nights, and not return home until morning. What are you doing out so late?"

         "I walk around, reliving the best times of my life…"

         "I think that you should move out of town…meet new people…"

         "I can't do that. I cannot leave you and Q-chan…"  
         "Why? We're both fine…"

         "I don't know…it's just that I am stuck. The memories are too deep."

         "I know, but are you sure? You have not seemed your cheerful self since…"

         "I'm fine, I'm coping…"

         "But is it safe. Walking around in the middle of night, who knows what might happen to you…?"

         "I can take care of myself, and besides, I don't care if anything happens to me…"

         "I do!"

         "Can I go to sleep now?"

         "Yeah, don't wake up Quatre…"

_Ever since you've been gone_

_The lights go out the same_

_The only difference is_

_You call another name_

_To your love_

_To your lover now_

_To your love_

_The lover after me_

Trowa and Heero never made it out of the mission. Both were captured. After five months of abuse and humiliation (they had to screw each other for the pleasure of the superiors), they killed everyone one and escaped. Trowa was badly bruised from the whole ordeal, physically and mentally. Driving himself, and an unconscious Trowa to a safe house, he beat himself up mentally for what he had allowed to happen. _I had always wondered what it would be like to sleep with Trowa, but under those circumstances_ Heero shuddered at the memory…_I wonder how everyone is doing?_

Taking Trowa inside and laying him on the single bed, he went out to gather wood for the fireplace. Upon completing his task, he set out for another one…make sure Trowa was going to be all right. He filled up a bowl with water and proceeded to wash Trowa's body. He even washed his torn clothes, for that was all he had. _I have to steal something from town tomorrow…or whenever Trowa can handle himself for a few hours._

**Part 2**

_Am I all alone in the universe?_

_There's no love on these streets_

         Duo dreamt he was alone in a dark void, then walking down a deserted street.

_I have given mine away to a world that didn't want it anyway_

_So this is my new freedom_

_It's funny_

_I don't remember being chained._

Wufei convinced Duo to go out to the club that night to try and have some fun. Reluctantly he went. However, it seemed no one wanted to love, but only lust after Duo.

_But nothing seems to make sense anymore_

_Without you I'm always twenty minutes late_

         Duo awoke in a cheap motel next to a guy he met just last night. Feeling disgusting, he left to return home. Upon doing so, he found Wufei at the kitchen table once again.

         "Did you have fun last night?"

         "Does becoming a lust-boy-toy constitute having fun?"

         "No one worthwhile then, huh?"

         "I'm going to take a shower. I feel disgusting. I'll be back down shortly."

_Ever since you've been gone_

_The lights go out the same_

_The only difference is_

_You call another name_

_To your love_

_To your lover now_

_To your love_

_The lover after me_

Trowa slept for three days. Meanwhile, Heero risked going to town for food, clothing, and other necessities. Cans of soup lined a cupboard in a corner, but it was not going to be enough for the length of their stay. _I am so bored of eating soup…_

         Heero finally caught some sleep in a chair when Trowa awoke. 

         "Heero…" he heard coming from the bed as he sat up rubbing his sore neck. "My body hurts like hell…I think something is broke…"

         "No, I checked, nothing is broken, just bruised…"

         Trowa blushed. "You checked everywhere?"

         "Yeah." 

         "I'm hungry…what's to eat?" he asked, wincing as he sat up.

         "Soup and bread."

         "Okay."

         "I'll be right back."

         Heero went into another room to fix two bowls of soup and cut up some bread. He returned a few minutes later with their "meals" and sat down on the bed next to Trowa. They both began to eat when Trowa dropped his spoon. "My arm…"

         Heero picked up the fallen spoon and began to feed Trowa the rest of his soup. After the meals were eaten, both pilots were tired.

         "Heero, will you sleep next to me tonight?"

         "Are you sure? I mean…"

         "Yes." Both boys lay down on the bed to sleep.

**Part 3**

_And time goes by so slowly_

_The nights are cold and lonely_

         The day passed excruciatingly slow for Duo. After dinner, Wufei told Duo that Quatre and he were going out.

         "Can I bring you back anything?" the always-helpful Quatre asked.

         "No, I will be fine…you two have fun," Duo answered as he rolled over on his bed.

         Duo left for the club. Upon entering, some guy propositioned him for the evening. He felt no love, no attachment, just a physical release into some stranger's mouth. While his body screamed pleasure, his heart was frozen into a state of loneliness.

_I shouldn't be holding on_

_But I'm still holding on for you_

         Duo thought of killing himself many times, ending his heart's pain and sadness…however, he could not bring himself to do it…just in case _he_ came back.

_Here I go again_

_I promised myself I wouldn't think of you today_

         Duo left that night again, wandering the streets until morning…

_But I'm standing at your doorway_

_I'm calling out your name cause I can't move on_

Duo had finally had enough. He came to the realization that Heero was dead, or had gone off to live in a beautiful countryside with Rel…(he gagged upon her name). He called himself Shinigami, yet he knew it was all a mask…a mask to hide the hurt and pain. The real god of Death was out there…_why hadn't he claimed my soul yet? I have been almost killed numerous times…but is it a cruel joke of Death to make me suffer like this?_

He prayed to Death for a quick death, took out a loaded gun, and sat down to _his_ desk to write Wufei a note.

_Ever since you've been gone_

_The lights go out the same_

_The only difference is_

_You call another name_

_To your love_

_To your lover now_

_To your love_

_The lover after me_

The time had come…_Seven months in this whole mess. First, I am forced to make a mockery of myself (and Trowa) for the amusement of those assholes. Then, I had to kill those people who had witnessed it and find this safe house…_

"Trowa, I think we should go back, if you can handle it…"

"I think I can handle it…do you know how to get back?"

"I have got a map somewhere, I can figure it out…But, I don't know how to tell Duo (_if he still cares about me…wait… I'm talking about Duo here.)…_And you tell Quatre…"

"Don't worry about it. After we explain what happened, I'm sure that they will understand."

"All right. You pack up our belongings, and I will look for the map."

Heero went outside to look for the map while the truck was starting up. Trowa finished up inside, and took the other objects outside to burn.

The drive home was silent.

**Part 4**

         Duo was just finishing his letter when he heard a car door slam…_Great…well, better now than never…_Duo put the letter he had written onto _his_ pillow and sat on their bed. 

Downstairs…

         "Duo! We're home! Are you still awake?" Quatre asked

         "I think you just woke him up if he was…" Wufei answered, rubbing Quatre's hair.

**BOOM!**

         "What the hell was that?!" Quatre yelled.

         "Shit! I'll check upstairs…it could be Duo…you stay here," a third person said to yet a fourth, starting to run up the stairs.

         The third person ran up the stairs as quick as he could, running to Duo's room. "Guys, come quick…" and with that, three figures ran up to Duo's room. 

Outside Duo's door…

"Do you hear anything?" he said, pressing his ear upon the door.

         "I hear something, sounds like crying and swearing put into one…" Quatre opened the door, and his jaw dropped to the floor. Wufei walked past him and pushed Quatre's jaw up with his finger. "I think you dropped something…"

         Wufei walked in to find Duo sprawled out over his bed, covered with feathers. "What, you couldn't use a pair of scissors to open the pillow? You had to use a gun?"

         "Duo! You owe me!" a familiar voice sounded into Duo's ears.

         "Heero? Or is that you Wufei, playing tricks on me?"

         "Nope, it is the real thing…" Wufei answered.

         "Heero…" One of the aforementioned persons walked towards the bed. Setting himself next to Duo. Duo turned to Heero with watery eyes. "It is really you!" he cried and hugged Heero. Pulling himself away, he said, "Listen, I am _sooooo_ sorry about your pillow. When I can get to the store…"

         "Pillow…feathers…Duo…dead…" Quatre was still dumbstruck at the sight of the feathers floating around the room.

         "Come on Quatre, let's go downstairs…"

         "Trowa, is that you too?" Duo said, jumping up to hug Trowa.

         "As much as me as I can get…"

         "Wow!" Duo said, turning back to Heero. "How did you guys get home? I thought for sure you were goners…what happened between then and now?"

         "_Later_ Duo…" Heero answered, pulling Duo into his arms. "Do you know how long I have waited to get back home…Now, what am I supposed to do about my pillow? And, what is this?" Heero asked, producing the letter Duo had written a few moments before.

         "Oh, that? Um…you see…"

         "I think we better excuse ourselves now." Wufei suggested to Trowa and Quatre. "Later guys…have fun," he said with a mischievous smirk on his face as he closed the door behind him.

         "You were going to kill yourself, weren't you?"

         "Yeah…sorry…I thought that…"

         "Well, that's what you get for thinking you baka!" he said as he poked Duo in the ribcage.

         "I'm _your_ baka, remember that…" Duo replied, kissing Heero.

         "Don't ever think of doing that again…even if I don't survive a mission."

         "But…"

         "No buts…"

         "Well, some butts are good…"

         "You know what I mean. Yes, you are right…some are nice," he said, grabbing Duo's ass. "What am I going to use for a pillow now? I've got it. You would seem to make a nice pillow…"

         "Heero…you hentai…" he said as he pounced upon his lover, purring into his ear.

         "Oh, come on, you know you like it…"

Downstairs…

         "So, let me get this straight. You two were captured, forced to make a mockery of yourselves, killed the guards, and went to a safe house. Then you pulled into the driveway just as we were tonight," Wufei asked. Quatre was just now coming back to reality.

         "Yep," Trowa answered him, rubbing Quatre's shoulders.

         "What took you so long?"

         "Well…um, you see…"

         "Ah, don't worry about it. I don't care the delay, just so long as you are here."

         "I will be right back guys, don't leave again…" Quatre said as he walked towards the bathroom.

         Wufei leant towards Trowa and whispered, "Listen, Quatre needed someone. I knew that Duo wouldn't be of much help, but…"

         "Yeah, I get it. It is the same between Heero and I," Trowa said to assure. "This is our secret."

         "What are you talking about?"

         "Exactly my point. What one doesn't know can't hurt anyone else." 

         Quatre walked back into the room. "What did I miss?"

         "Oh, nothing…"

Upstairs…

         "Duo, I think we should go into the kitchen and get something to eat," Heero declared.

         "Good idea. I haven't eaten in _soooo_ long. I think my stomach forgot what food was."

Kitchen…

         "Hey guys. What's to eat?" Duo asked

         "Ummm, I could order take out Chinese…?" Quatre offered.

         "Anything! I'm starved!"

         "Be right back." Quatre went into the other room to order their meal. It was the usual: Two orders of everything: Sweet & Sour chicken, Shrimp Lo mien, Chicken cow mien, and lots of rice, with soy sauce of course. After hanging up the phone, he walked back into the room.

         "Listen Trowa, I have something to tell you…" Quatre started, looking at Wufei for assurance. "You were gone and I…"

         "I already know, Wufei told me."

         "Told you that Wufei was sleeping with Quatre?" Duo broke in.

         "Yes Duo."

         Trowa looked guilty and told Duo that he had slept with Heero, both in and out of their imprisonment.

         "I don't care…just as long as I have my koi back!" Duo said with a 100-watt smile before kissing Heero.

         "Can't you save that for later?" Wufei butted in. "So, here it is, the list. Trowa was with Quatre, Heero was with Duo, Poor me.  During their leave, I was with Quatre, Trowa was with Heero. Poor Duo…"

         "Hey, now I know how you feel Wu-chan," Duo said.

         "Don't call me that Maxwell…"

         Duo got up and walked over to Wufei. "Why…I think it suits you fine. Besides," he started, turning to address the whole group, "now we can all sleep together and not have any worries…how about a go Wufei?" he nudged Wufei while winking.

         "Duo!"

         "You are such a hentai"

         "Oh, my uchuu no kokoro…"

**DING-DONG**

         "Oh, the food is here. I'll get it," Dou said as he rushed over to the door. Upon opening it, he saw a beautiful boy about a few years older than him with long blond hair and blue eyes. "Zechs?"

         "Yeah Maxwell, what of it. I had to earn some money to fix Epyon…"

         "Thanks…later!" he called as he closed the door.

         Duo brought in the food, and at once was surrounded by hungry adolescent boys. "Now, if only this same scene happened, but it wasn't the food you were attracted to…"

         The five boys finished their meal and sat around.

         "Hey Duo, I am tired now. I think we should go to bed…"

         "Okie dokie…one human pillow, coming right up!" Duo said as he started towards the stairs.

         "Oh, I plan on using you for more than a pillow tonight. We may not even get to sleep…" he said as he followed his "pillow".

         "Well, Wufei, this sure is odd…" Trowa said.

         "Eh, it's not like I have been alone before."

         "Who said you had to be alone?" Quatre chimed in, nudging closer to Wufei, while still holding Trowa's hand. "We could make a Quatre sandwich tonight. Eh?"

         "Let's go," Trowa said as he pulled Wufei and Quatre up the stairs.

**Note:** Many yummy ideas come to mind as I finish this fic. But first, I have to finish yet another one…multi-fic-able, ne?


End file.
